The true self woman – a genuine being,
new social classification?

How old are you? 31, 37, 42? Older or even younger?

Have you been married, at least once? No?!?! Really?! What’s wrong with you? Sorry?! OMG – but why? You look so beautiful, you’re smart, independent, fun and so sexy! You look amazing! Why are you still single? I can’t believe that!

Have you had this kind of talk?! Classic! Your aunt at your sisters wedding (second marriage!), or your school colleagues, at least your best friend’s friend at her birthday party. We all had that talk – at least once.

I’m not going to blame men for that! You’ve been hurt in many different ways, each one left a scar on your heart and now you are trying to heal. You protect your heart. You’re behind a wall, trying to glance every now and then to the other side.
At a certain point you start to feel comfortable and cosy there, your sacred place behind the wall – your fort. You don’t want to go to the other side anymore.
One day you wake up and you’re 44, maybe younger, eventually older and you’ll understand that it is all about you, it has always been. Your self esteem, self confidence and your thinking. It was your choice, your decision to live the way you did and still do. It was your decision to have fun, to be happy by yourself. To live your own life, your own dreams. Being independent doesn’t mean you’re a feminist, an amazon, a modern Jean D’Arc. It’s just the way you developed. Now you’re trying to let the wall behind you, trying to trust again and give yourself a chance in a relationship. You open up your heart and let the love in.

You look around and see your divorced friends, the betrayed wives, the single mothers, struggling with their problems. You’re asking yourself if it is better to go back behind your wall – but you don’t! You stay. Thankful. Appreciating the time behind the wall. In this time you’ve found yourself again. Knowing who you are. You choose to live your life the way you do. It’s your construct. You build it up yourself and you’re happy. Because it is YOU – the real genuine true you. Without trying to please others. Just listening to your inner being and following your heart desire. Even though sometimes you wish that your perfect match, the love of your life is laying on the left side of the bed, looking at you while you’re waking up.

Where to integrate these type of women? Where do we belong to? Which category do we fit in? Not married, not divorced, not too young or old. Quiet independent, having her own state of mind, own lifestyle, her own job and hobbies. Happy by herself, deciding all alone about her family status. Creating her own family without a partner in the common sense, having a baby with a co-parent. This is 2016. Is this the new woman? Do we need a new classification?
This kind of woman doesn’t fit anywhere.  Is she a new “species” in this normative world?

What’s your status?
Is there a status for women like me? I’m 44. I have never been engaged or married. No children. I do want children. I want a relationship, but not just any relationship. I want my perfect match. Someone I can feel free with.

What’s wrong with me? Nothing! I chose this. Every time I was at the point: „is he really the one, or do you just not want to be alone?“ I knew he wasn’t THE ONE.

Are you happy with your status right now?
Not anymore. Status: To be classified.

Would you change it, if it was possible?
I would NOW. For now, I know who I am and what I want. The contrast of what I don’t want, was helpful. Now Im clear about my desires.

“Change is the only constant”

Keep going, change, experience and find your happy self. It’s just about you!