As a little girl you have dreams, you have desires, you create a world around you and you try to understand how life works.
No, the little girl on that pic isn’t me, but she is part of my family. She is growing up like any other little girl and she is just one of many. They all share similar feelings.
Girls growing up without a mother, growing up with an alcoholic father, growing up with a violent father, growing up without a father, growing up with the memory of a father who left the family, growing up with a sick father, growing up with a step father, growing up without knowing who her father is, being raised by her grandma, growing up without feeling loved by the father…
A girl needs her father. She needs his attention, his appreciation, his love and the feeling of being protected. She wants to be daddy’s little princess.
I always felt loved by my parents. My mom was and still is a wonderful mother and she was always a “do-er”, I got that from her. My father was a talented handyman. He was able to fix everything and I’ve got that from him. I picked all the good things from both of them.
Having both parents was important to me. As an adult you see things differently and you understand a lot of them much better.
Growing up with an alcoholic, sick dad was very challenging and my childhood for sure was not a piece of cake. When he was drinking it wasn’t a good time. He was angry and abusive. It was difficult for me to understand what’s really going on. I was sad every time he was drunk and I was just praying that he might stop drinking one day. My mom wanted the best for us and so she got divorced. He stopped drinking just a few weeks after the divorce and so they started a new relationship with each other.
During these times I obviously developed my beliefs regarding men, relationships and what a girl needs to feel happy and loved. Those beliefs were anchored for a long time, very deep in my mind and also in my soul. Subconsciously I’ve saved all the feelings and emotions, everything I’ve been through, trying to sort things out . “Cleaning up my closet”, selecting and placing memories around, trying to figure out what I should keep and what I should let go.
It took me a while to see that none of the beliefs are really benefitting me. I’ve learned to let go. Let go of my beliefs, let go of the sad memories and let go of the hard feelings. Forgiving and letting go feels right. I am greatful for every lesson and for the strength I have developed. I am not defined by my past, I am not a little helpless girl. Stirring around in the past wouldn’t do anyone any good. There is nothing that can be changed or be “corrected”. Nothing!
I am a strong, grown up woman and I know that everything depends on me. I take the decisions to be happy and I do this all day everyday. I embrace my inner child and I know that I am safe. Daddy’s little princess is a “do-er”.
Whether you grew up in challenging surroundings with your dad or you never met him, whether he didn’t love you enough or he left you behind, whether he was never there for you or wheatear he deeply hurt you… heal those scars by forgiving him. Forgive yourself, love yourself the most and let go of your negative beliefs. Feel compassion for him because he didn’t know any better. You are not defined by your childhood, by your past, by the way you grew up. You are a grown up woman, creating your own life, your own reality, your own happiness. Day by day, for the rest of your beautiful, fulfilled happy life.
PS: Rest In Peace dear dad! Love and light!