Loyalty – overrated?

What do you think about loyalty? Is it old fashioned to trust and believe that your partner is loyal? Is it naivety ? Do people nowadays still have partnership values?

Everyone has an Instagram or/and Facebook account. Singles as well as people in romantic relationships. How do you feel about men and women liking pictures of other people of the opposite sex? Would you accept your partner „following“ some hot girl and liking her every picture?
When does „cheating“ start? When your partner is physically having sex with another person or does cheating already start before that? In your or your partners head.

„ In your pursuit of your passions always be young. In your relationship with others always be grown up. Set a standard and stay faithful to it.“- Tom Brokaw

Is it cheating when your partner is texting another person? Or just when the intimate conversations start? What about swapping nudes? Is that cheating on your partner or do you consider it a frivolous, silly game… kind of entertainment or maybe a hot „kick“ to spice up your own relationship?
Plenty of questions, I know. My last *serious relationship has been 4 years ago. *Serious… or at least I thought so. He was cheating on me and his (ex) girlfriend, for 3 years. No need to tell you that this ménage a trois relationship ended in a big drama for all sides and it took me another 3 years to recover, now I’m slowly trying to trust again. Nevertheless this relationship is the reason I have found myself and moved back to being me, my true self and listen to my intuition and my guts. It was the beginning of the genuine me.

To cut a long story short, I spent the last year working on my trust issues and on my personal development. About 15 books, 50 audio books and podcasts plus 2 therapists later, I feel like I’m over it. Furthermore I feel ready again to make some space in my life for a genuine relationship and a loyal partner. I’m eager to date and allow myself to trust men. I’m not saying its going to be a piece of cake… it will in fact be quite challenging. Set backs are kind of normal. You have to accept and overcome them.
Since I’ve been single for a while now (my choice and for obvious reasons) I’ve faced some peculiar changes in peoples behaviors when it came to faithfulness and loyalty in relationships.

Men (in my particular case) are courageous – no matter the age or relationship status – they are flirting, sexting, faking and simulating relationships. Virtual relationships, on a daily basis, most likely next to the actual partner. I assume that it isn’t just one, most likely there are „multiple choices“ – just in case, one is getting sassy. Hashtag justsaying…
In my opinion this popular “phenomenon” is the result of the humongous options that the internet/ social media is offering us and the lacking self esteem or attention gained in the actual relationship. To quote Charlie Puth’s lyrics “ you just want attention, you don’t want my heart…”
Why else would a grown up man, who’s been in a serious relationship for a while be doing this? Is it based on the desire to mingle energies and get “a high” on that or just a simple disfunction?
I don’t know.

It isn’t a matter of age. From girls in their twenties to women in their 60ties. All of us have had experienced at least once such a situation. We trust and believe that “Prince Charming” does exist. It isn’t just a fairy tale.

Me, for my part, I finally feel like I get it: this is something that I am experiencing, applying the law of attraction not to my favor, I am not in alignment with my higher self. What you think you attract, whether you want it or not, your subconscious mind doesn’t differentiate between wanted or unwanted, it just delievers the orders of your mind.
As I am a deliberate creator of my own reality, I’m asking myself why do I do this to myself? Because I am still afraid. Fear is the product of our thoughts. Thoughts are products of your minds. Your mind is working well fed by your past experiences.
Obviously there are still plenty of lessons to be learned in this particular game, in this very sensitive topic.

Thank you dear sirs for your virtual unfaithfulness. You all have been great teachers to me. Thank you, for showing me that I am ready for „the one“ and thank you again for opening that door for me.

*serious relationship = I call this a relationship where I decide to be exclusive with one person, for a long term relationship. This might vary among other men and women… hashtag justsaying

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